i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
