I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
