U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
You did what with his pubic hair?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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