is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
