I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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