I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
