so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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