All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
