Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
