When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
