I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
