just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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