What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
