Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
