i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
