This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
