This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize