She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
