Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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