you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
