so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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