so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
