its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
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