no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
