Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
