I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
