with your own penis?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
