Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
