I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
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