no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
well you can't waste a boner
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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