The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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