...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize