this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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