Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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