Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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