Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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