I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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