You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
