I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
