If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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