Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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