We're facebook friends in real life
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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