bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize