it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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