I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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