Pregnant stripper...not hot.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize