508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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