It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Randomize
