Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
