I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize