I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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