try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
