when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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