the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
