Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
