ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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