you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize