So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
