I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize