i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
