I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
