Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
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