I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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