Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
