Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
