Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
