Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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