GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize
