Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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