I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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